Opposing Views From My Contest Answer

I am in love with blogging!

In case you missed it I entered a contest over the weekend. The contest was from one of my new favorite blogs Dr. Psych Mom. She also has a Facebook page found here. Readers were asked to send in their best answer to this question.

Oh.My.Gah…I was like a kid on Christmas morning when I saw my name as the winner on her blog! I was stoked!!

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My first thought was, “Holy shit that’s my name!!!” I’ve been blogging for a little less than 2 months now, so I have never submitted anything like this before. I was hoping to win, but I figured there were probably people out there that had more experience than me. People with more writing experience, more Mommy experience, etc…

We have two things we talk about a lot in our family.

1. Everyone has their own opinion.

2. It’s okay to be different.

My first and fourth sons were born with Bilateral Clubfeet. The oldest is 7, so we have had countless talks about being different and I am sure we’ll have many more.

I encourage my boys to always voice their opinion even if it differs from others. I am still working on this myself.

As I read a few opposing views today I got a little discouraged. They were not being disrespectful, just simply stating their own opinions. Suddenly it hit me, why am I getting discouraged because people are doing what they should be doing? If I don’t agree I just sit back and think about it. I don’t have the balls to say anything most of the time. I do the opposite of what I teach my children to do.

So, I am thankful for those ballsy people out there that let their opinions be known in a respectful way.

Here are a few of my responses to a couple of opposing views.

In all three suggestions there was time for just the two of them. She mentioned her husband talking about other parents staying out all night or going on a couples vacation. I don’t know of any other parents doing either weekly.

There are so many unknowns in her issue. It’s not like we had an hour therapy session and we heard both sides. Here are a list of my “what ifs”:

What if they can’t afford a babysitter?

What if she is battling postpartum depression and has some mommy guilt?

What if he isn’t as involved as he should be?

What if they are a Military family and they don’t have family around?

I want to say again, what works for some families may not work for others. Some spouses put each other first, some put their children first. I mentioned in my first response, communication is key. They have to find what works for them and they both have to be open to compromise.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the different perspectives!

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Ashley

 

 

 

 

 

How Do They Do It?

How do people do it?

I’ve asked myself that question at least a hundred times this week.

I know what it’s like to not get a break. If your friends with me on Facebook I’m sure you’ve seen my posts about not living close to family and having that village that everyone says you need in order to raise children. I might not have a village, but I have a damn good husband and I would lose my mind without him.

Hubs went to the beach for a night with his dad, brothers, and nephew last week. He left on Thursday morning and came back Friday night. He is on way home from New York right now from a work conference. Luckily he doesn’t have to go out-of-town often, so I wasn’t too upset. I wasn’t thrilled, but what can you do?

I have much respect for single parents, military families, and any family that has a spouse that travels. Out of the last seven days, Jarred has been gone four of them and I am exhausted. Mentally and physically.

The older boys handle it better. They miss him of course, but they can function. However, Winston can.not.deal. He has walked around all day saying, “Daddy home!” I knew he was a Daddy’s boy, but he is pitiful. I don’t rock him to sleep, but I rock him and sing to him for a minutes each night. Before we went upstairs tonight he looked at me with his chin quivering and said, “Daddy rock.”

I don’t sleep well when Jarred isn’t here. I hear everything. My mind can’t shut off. It took me a while to fall asleep Tuesday, but last night I just couldn’t do it.

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“What was that?”

“Did I lock the all the doors and windows?

“Was that Miles?”

“Did I just see a shadow?”

As I sit here typing this, an acorn just hit our fence and I almost pulled something I jumped so fast.

He comes home tonight, but I have thought a lot today about families that don’t have two parents in their household. I’ve talked about counting down the minutes until Jarred comes home from work, but what if I didn’t have him coming home? It would be hard for me, but it would be harder on my children. They love their Daddy!

I have friends that have shitty husbands. They would rather spend time alone or with other guys, than spend time with their family. One of my biggest pet peeves is to hear fathers talk about “babysitting” their children. I just want to punch them in the throat.

I am so thankful for my husband. He puts up with my mood swings, my negative attitude, and my Type A personality.

We wouldn’t make it without him. We need him. I need him.

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Ashley

 

 

Thank You, Lewis

Lewis,

You are seven years old today. SEVEN!

Seven years ago I held you for the first time. I kiss your forehead now and I remember exactly how I felt the first time I kissed you.

You are such an amazing boy. Funny, stubborn, and smart. Don’t tell your Daddy, but I think you get being stubborn from him.

I watch you take care of your little brothers every day. Saturday we went to Cailyn’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s. You were playing the game that you hit the button to stop on a number. Whatever number you land on is the amount of tickets you win. You won 30 tickets and you were stoked! You turned around to show Ian and without hesitating you divided them up and handed half of them to him.

PhotoGrid_1411410496793I am not surprised, because you do that kind of stuff all the time. Last year one of the Janitors at your school was sick and he couldn’t work for a couple of weeks. You noticed he wasn’t there and made him a card.

I’ve heard you tell Ian when he was sick you wish it were you instead of him. I’ve watched you run to check on Winston when he got hurt. I’ve heard you sing to Miles when he was crying. I’ve been lucky to get one of your sweet hugs when I’ve had a bad day. You always want to make people feel better.

You’ve cried because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings telling me you didn’t like what I cooked for dinner.

You have been a great role model for Miles. You talk to him about being born with Clubfeet and how it shouldn’t keep him from doing the things he wants to do.

You taught me to be grateful that Clubfeet can be fixed, because some things can’t be fixed and I am thankful that you and your brothers are healthy.

Thanks for helping me learn about love.

Thanks for teaching me about patience.

Thanks for helping me open my mind.

Thanks for teaching me it’s okay to be different.

Thanks for helping me to do lots of self-reflection and realizing I had to make some changes to be the Mommy I wanted to be.

I love being your Mommy. Daddy and I are so proud of you. You work hard at everything you do and you always think of others. Your determination will take you anywhere you want to go and you can be anything you want to be.

You and your brothers mean more to me than you will ever know!

I love you boys more and more every day.

Thanks LewBear!

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Mommy

 

 

 

 

Pedicure Giveaway

As a thank you for reading my blog I have another giveaway!

Win a pedicure from One Eighty Wellness Spa !

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The contest will end Friday, Sept 26th at 6:00p.m.

I will post the winner Friday night. The winner has 24 hours to claim their prize or another winner will be chosen.

To be eligible for prize you have to “Like” both pages Mommy Of All Boys and One Eight Wellness Spa, comment on contest photo, and share contest photo

***PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU COMMENT ON CONTEST PHOTO. THE SHARING FUNCTION IS LAGGING AND NOT NOTIFYING ME OF SHARES.***

Thanks again for all of your sweet encouraging words! I appreciate all the comments, likes, and shares!

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Ashley

To The Lady At Target

It never fails when we go to Target for just a couple of things it turns into an hour trip.

Lewis’s birthday money has been burning a hole in his pocket. He’s been asking to go every day for the past week. We went back and forth from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle section to the Star Wars section.

Finally we get to the check-out line. It was like being in Wal-Mart. There were 3 lanes open. The shortest line had a family of 4 with a mountain-high pile of clothes on the conveyor belt and they were still unloading their cart. I’m not sure if it’s worse going from aisle to aisle with the boys or waiting in the check-out lane. It’s torture. They see all the candy, all the gadgets, and they feel like they have to pull down every gift card.

“Come back over here!”

“Leave that alone.”

“Put that back.”

“Get down!”

That’s what it usually sounds like while we are waiting in line. It was only me and the oldest two, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

So here we are standing in line and I see a lady in a red shirt walk by and say, “I can take who’s next over here.” That’s all I remember. There were about 5 people behind me and she was opening the register almost right beside us. I looked around, held my hand out and said, “Come on guys, let’s go over there.” There was an older couple right behind us, probably in their 60’s. The man looked at Lewis and Ian and asked, “Are y’all Auburn fans?” They had their normal Saturday attire on–their Auburn jerseys. They smiled and said, “Yes sir.” The lady was looking at them like most women do. That look that tells me they are thinking of their children when they were that age. Older women always tell me to enjoy every second, they grow so fast. That is something I am trying to work on. Even during the bad moments.

We had 4 items. She scanned them, told me the price, and I paid her. It took about 45 seconds for the whole transaction to take place. I put my hand on the back of Ian’s head to guide him through the crowd. Lewis was right in front of us. As were telling the nice couple to have a good day, I turned around and saw a lady looking right at me. I was kind of zoned in on making sure I could see Lewis because he was ready to get to the truck and open his toys. The lady looked at me and said, “I was next in line.” I was caught off guard. My first thought was do I know this person?

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I said, “What’s that again?” Her eyes were squinted almost shut and with a snarky smile she said, “I was next in line, just so you know.” I looked at the boys, looked at her, chuckled and said, “Oh okay.” As I walked out the door, my blood began to boil. Who as this lady?!? I honestly did not see her in front of me and why didn’t she just come get in line when I did? She could have nicely said, “I’m going to squeeze in here really quick since I was next.” or “I was next can I jump in line?”

I would’ve sincerely apologized and wouldn’t thought anything of it. I was pissed! We got halfway to the truck and she was already getting into her truck. Really lady?!? I know I’ve had someone cut in line before and I get that “Oh, wait a minute” attitude. We’ve all had it happen and we never say anything, because most of the time we mumble under our breath or just chose to not make a big deal out of it.

So I am writing to tell the lady with a bad attitude thanks for calling me out. I will know next time it happens to me they might not have even been aware it was happening. I will be more patient and know if I am not in a hurry, or even if I am, that it’s really not that big of a deal.

Thanks for giving me an opportunity to talk to my boys about being patient and being respectful. It was a good way to teach them how to handle unfriendly people. They need to learn there are certain ways we do not talk to people. They need to learn how not to act and you were a perfect example!

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Ashley

Tomorrow Has To Be Better

I owe Dr. Glaze, his nurse, Dr.Smalley’s nurse Mrs. Jackie, and the receptionist an apology.

I was “that Mom” this morning.

Miles has been inconsolable since Monday. I took him to the doctor Monday afternoon and she said he had a sore throat to just wait it out. I HATE those words. I wasn’t wishing for him to have an ear infection, but I was hoping to find something medicine could cure.

This week might be worse than him adjusting to his bar and shoes. I don’t know, that was pretty damn awful too. Probably more for me than him. He’s been running a fever, not eating much, and I can tell he doesn’t feel good. He’s normally a pretty happy baby.

I spoke with the nurse this morning and she said I could bring him in again. I told her I didn’t want to bring him in again to hear the same words. After he and I cried all morning, I called to make another appointment.

I loaded up the kids and we headed to the office. I tried to give myself a pep talk on the way there, but I couldn’t get it together. My baby has been crying just about non-stop for 3 days, he’s miserable and frankly I am too! We got there and I received the pity looks, which I expected it because I looked hideous. We walked in the room and I laid Miles on the table to undress him to his diaper. The nurse came in behind us and said, “What’s going on with Miles today Mom?” I began sobbing again. It took me a minute to swallow the lump in my throat so I could speak.

I stood there holding Miles, swaying back and forth trying to calm him down. He finally relaxed a little until we had to go weigh him, then he started up again.

Once again I found myself hoping to hear, “His ears are red. What pharmacy do you use?” Nope. Ears and throat look great. Lungs sound good. Dr. Glaze wanted to check him for a UTI. UTI’s aren’t common in little boys, but we could at least rule that out and know that it’s probably just a virus. I hate being the bad guy holding down my boys’ arms when they are getting shots, so you can imagine how horrible I felt to hold hid arms while the doctor puts a catheter in.

As of now, we are still going with it’s a virus.

We were walking to the check-out area and Mrs. Jackie, Dr. Smalley’s nurse, came up and gave me a hug. Again, it took me a second to compose myself long enough to get a word out. That hug sure made me feel better!

I hope my little guy feels better tomorrow!

No matter how crappy he feels, he’s still a cutie!

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Ashley

Results From My No Yelling Challenge

Lewis, Ian, and Winston were up at 6:00 this morning. Miles made it until 6:30.

I woke up and sipped my coffee as I got Lewis’s lunch ready. I made sure I had everything signed in his binder, which I’d already done Sunday night. But I am Type A, so I have to make sure one more time so I can have peace. I loaded everyone up and took Lewis to school.

We got home and I started tackling the job of folding clothes. Miles wasn’t having it. Babbling at my feet crying, “Dadadada, babababa.” He wasn’t happy. I stopped folding clothes and got in the floor to play with him. That didn’t work. Something wasn’t right. I fed him his favorite Banana’s and Mixed Berries–fail. I nursed him. Negative. He was absolutely miserable.

I rocked him to sleep and slowly walked upstairs to his room. We have a fan/heater that we use for noise in each of their rooms. I turned it on and stood there for a second trying to think of the best way to lay him down. Should I lay him on his belly? Should I have propped up the mattress more so he can breathe better? I decide to put him on his belly. He immediately tucks his knees under him and pokes his booty up in the air. As I begin to stand up from leaning over to put him in his crib, he opened his eyes.

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Every parent can relate to that moment you stop breathing so you don’t wake your child. I froze for at least minute. He was very still, but blinking slowly. My heart and mind started racing. Do I stay like this for another minute? Is he going to close his eyes? Is he sleeping with his eyes open?  I bet Winston is downstairs climbing the bookshelf.

He wasn’t moving at all, until he saw me tiptoeing to the door. I swear I was moving like a cat about to attack a squirrel. I was moving in SUPER slow motion. We made eye-contact and it was over. He popped up and started whaling.

Ugh!!!!!!! I rocked him to sleep two more times after that and he woke up immediately when I laid him down. He was going on his seventh hour of being awake. It finally worked after the fourth rock. He slept for 30 minutes…that’s it! I just knew he had an ear infection. Classic symptoms, low grade temp, not sleeping well, lethargic but it hurts too bad to lay down. I called and made an appointment to get him checked out.

I got Winston to sleep only to wake him up an hour later. He hates when we wake him up from a nap. It takes at least an hour for him to become sociable. Miles began screaming as soon as I opened the truck door and put him in the car seat to pick up Lewis from school. Lewis told me he got a “straight face” in school today because he couldn’t help laughing at one of his friends. We talked about making better decisions and staying focused in school. Ian bragged about staying on green all the time.

Luckily Jarred was able to come home early so I could take Miles to the doctor without having to all four kids in tow.

No ear infections, but a red irritated throat.

I hate back to school crud.

After all that and more that is just too much to type, I did not yell today!!!

It feels good and I’ll do the same tomorrow!

Ashley

Ashley

What I Will Not Do Tomorrow

I’ve noticed a pattern.

Lewis gives Ian and Winston a look. It’s the look parents give their children when they are saying something for the tenth time. You know, that big-eyed, teeth-grinding, nose-flaring look.

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Ian has a hard time not controlling himself when he gets upset. If one of his brothers, mostly Winston, walks by and bumps into him while he’s coloring and he gets outside of the lines, he loses it. “Sttopppp!” “Don’t do that”! I usually go over to him and say suggest instead of getting so upset calmly say, “You just bumped into me. Please watch where you’re going.” Honestly, I add Dude to the beginning of that suggestion.

It’s hard to accept, but they learn it from me. One of the hardest things about parenting in my opinion, is the self-reflecting. You have to self-reflect to be a good parent. You can’t tell your children one thing and do something totally different. They are watching you more than listening.

I was just talking with a sweet Mommy friend at work the other night about how some days I can react calmly to their outbursts, misbehavior, and whining. On others days, I feel like the Hulk. Of course within minutes I feel bad for yelling, but I honestly feel like I can’t help it sometimes. Maybe they feel the same way when they have melt downs?

I am going to challenge myself. I am not going to yell tomorrow. I can do this. I am going to do this!

Ashley

Ashley

Bag Giveaway!

We are so excited to have this giveaway!

I’ve teamed up with Emily from So Sew Me Custom Sewing & Embroidery Boutique and she has these super cute bags for our fans!

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You can choose which bag you want and decide on 3 smaller initials or 1 big initial.

All you have to do is “Like” both of our Facebook pages.

Mommy Of All Boys

So Sew Me Custom Sewing & Embroidery Boutique

Comment on the CONTEST PHOTO and share! You must do all 3 steps to be qualified for the giveaway!

Contest ends Wednesday, Sept 17th at 0700. We will announce the winner Wednesday around lunch and will contact you via Facebook. You will have 24 hours to claim your bag. If we do not hear from you within 24 hours, another winner will be chosen.

Feel free to contact either one of us if you have any questions!!

Thanks!

Ashley & Emily