Some people might have thought I was crying from the insanely boring music blasting at Mapco, but I wasn’t. I was thinking about Lewis, Ian, and Winston being in school. That’s right, 3 of my children are now in school.
Ian started Pre-K and Winston started Pre-School. Ian has a rough time trying new things and being around new people. He’s become very anxious over the last few years. We decided to let him stay home with me last year instead of going to Pre-School, because I needed some help with Winston and Miles. Even though he had an AMAZING teacher, Ian had a little bit of a rough year when he was in the 3-year-old class, so it was an easy decision to let him stay home the following year. He was such a big helper! Those first 6 months with Miles were difficult. I wouldn’t have made it without his help.
He was so excited about going to school this morning. He started counting down a couple of months ago. He gets excited about a lot of things, but usually shells up when it’s time to do them. We signed him up for swim lessons over the summer, got there and he was hysterical. He wasn’t afraid of the water; he was afraid because he didn’t know anyone. The child was pitiful! He freaked out so bad the last time we went to the dentist for a cleaning, they had to put him in the smaller room so he wouldn’t scare the other kids. He’s never had a cavity, so it’s always easy breezy when we go. The same hygienist has cleaned his teeth since he started going 3 years ago. I was a nervous wreck. For some reason I get really anxious when my kids start crying when we are out in public, especially if it’s the baby. I hate that about myself. I act as though no one has ever heard a baby cry. Don’t get it wrong, there’s a difference in a baby crying and a 5-year-old crying and kicking in the floor at Target because they can’t have a toy. I have no tolerance for that. But I digress…
Ian went into his classroom this morning, picked out a place to sit and started coloring. Those pretty blue eyes looked up and he said, “Bye Mommy and Daddy.” I wanted to cry not only because I would miss him, but I was so proud of him! I was expecting the worst and that makes me feel bad. I knew he could do it, but I worried it’d be like all the other times and he would let his anxiety take over. He was doing it! He was proud of himself and I could see it in his eyes.
Sometimes I get offended when I hear Moms brag about homeschooling their children. I won’t go into all the comments I’ve heard, but I am sure you’ve heard them also. I like to hear my children talk about school. They love meeting new friends, playing with friends at recess, and I love hearing about their day. I have time to get a few things done and they get time to learn they can have fun and do things without me being there with them. They learn to be self-confident. They learn to trust other people.
Today I had some sweet one-on-one time with Miles and that’s always fun. It’s rare. I found myself wondering if Winston was crying and hoping Ian was okay. Winston’s teacher sent me a picture of him and his classmates eating snacks and he looked like such a big boy. I walked into his classroom and he ran up to me with his arms up in the air. We walked around and went into Ian’s classroom and he did the same. They were happy to see me and Miles and we were surely happy to see them!
I have a sweet friend that brought Lewis home from school last year after Miles was born. I am very thankful for her, but I missed picking Lewis up and hearing about his day as soon as he got in the car. I missed watching him stand with the teacher and smile as I pulled up to get him. I started picking him up again yesterday and I loved it. It made me feel good.
I can’t slow down time, but I need to learn how to slow down and appreciate these precious moments.